hurt + hope

Really not sure where to start.  The horrific tragedy that hit our innocent on Friday has robbed me of words and at times the very breath in my chest.  I do my best focus on all things positive here at the blog, but must confess that I am shattered by this unthinkable event.  Any writing about Christmas or “pretty things” at this time seems insignificant.

Like all of us, I’ve gone through a range of emotions – shock, heartache, panic, horror, fear, anger.  My heart is actually racing as I think about life being ripped from innocent beings.  Friday night I tucked-in and held our two youngest children and silently wept after they fell asleep.  I felt a wave of horrendous guilt because I could hold my babies…but the parents of 20 precious children could not do the same.  It felt like a knife in my heart.

I am really struggling with the injustice and nightmare of this loss of children, heroic teachers and Principal.  I feel like time itself should stop so we can honor these precious souls..that we should actually pause and grieve.  I wish the whole country would stop…even if just for a day.  It hurts to hear Christmas music and see life “go on” knowing that these families are suffering with such loss and pain.


The thought of healing doesn’t even seem possible.  How does anyone recover from such a tragedy?  But I do think there is one power we all have.  LOVE.  If we could just allow our behavior to be governed by LOVE in everything we do, even the simple things, we could make such a difference in shifting this country’s twisted, voyeuristic, media-obsessed mental state.  Don’t even get me started on fantasy violence video games.  Our country is lost.

God is Love.  We are Love.  We are part of God.

Pray for our children.  Pray for our country.

Pray for our hearts and our future.


I read that the United Way has started a Sandy Hook Support Fund to help victims with this unthinkable tragedy (grief counseling, medical expenses, funeral costs, the list goes on).  You can donate any amount by simply clicking here.

May God bless and heal these families.  May God heal us all.

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  1. Ingrid says:

    Just so terribly sad I keep thinking about how these little children were excited about Santa. In our prayers and thoughts

  2. susan anneheim says:

    I think the entire country mourns the loss of these little children and teachers. It is a horrific and terrifying event that has rightfully shaken us all to our core. If only… that is what I keep going over in my mind. I pray for them and their families at this incredibly difficult time. God bless them all.

  3. susan anneheim says:

    I think the entire country mourns the loss of these little children and teachers. It is a horrific and terrifying event that has rightfully shaken us all to our core. If only… that is what I keep going over in my mind. I pray for them and their families at this incredibly difficult time. God bless them all.

  4. Nicole says:

    Sigh. I agree with you, Seleta. I find myself not wanting to camp on my emotions, because doing so gives power to evil.
    What can we do? May I suggest that we express love to our teachers around the country, who are viewing this from their own angle? It just so happened that some friends and I were able to do just that yesterday with a preplanned event. If you are interested in how we put actions to our prayers, I invite you to visit

  5. Jennifer says:

    Such a beautiful post. This happened in my home state of CT and my grandparents hometown of Sandy Hook. An aquaintenace of mine’s nephew is one of those beautiful angels now. There are no words to express this horrific tragedy.

  6. TSB says:

    Everything seems trivial after this. I still can’t wrap my mind around it. I’ve prayed so much since Friday.

  7. Molly says:

    You’re right…. everything seems insignificant compared to this devastating loss. Thank you for the tribute to those lost and affected by this tragedy.

  8. Such a beautiful post. I learned over the weekend that one of my aquaintenance’s nephew is one of those angels now. The whole world is mourning with Sandy Hook, my grandparents hometown and my home state.

  9. Jules says:

    I spent Friday evening doing the same with my two babies.. and really every second of every day that I have been with them since then, and I too have felt guilt that I have been able to touch and hold them while others will never have that privilege again. I also have discovered much more patience with my children since Friday. In the past, the constant questions, talking, and shouts of “mommy, mommy!” could be draining and frustrating. Today, they are precious gifts.

    I understand why it seems frivilous to post about pretty things, but selfishly, I love coming to your blog as an escape from all of the negativity in the news, the zany-ness of raising children, and the sometimes overwhelming nature of life. It is nice to focus on the simple pleasures in life- beautiful white rooms, Christmas decorations and inspiration to turn our personal spaces into a warmer and lovelier space to keep us sane in an otherwise insane world.

  10. Lori H says:

    My foremost sadness is for the families and friends of the victims. But then I started thinking about the “secondary” victims : the first responders who were traumatized by the scene they entered; the kids who survived and will have to deal with guilt; and the whole town that was devastated by this horrible event and the intense media scrutiny/invasion of privacy they all have to endure. It is so hard. Only remedy for me is to pray. I cannot watch any more news reports.

  11. Aunt Pat says:

    from a friend of mine:

    Love is often presented as the opposite of fear, but true love is not opposite anything. True love is far more powerful than any negative emotions, as it is the environment in which all things arise. We are made of this love and live our whole lives at one with it, whether we know it or not.

    It is only the illusion that we are separate from this great love that causes us to believe that choosing anything other than love makes sense or is even possible. When we choose to be conscious of it, we choose love. We will still exist in the relative flex of opposites and choices and cause and effect, and we will need to make our way here, but doing so with an awareness that we are all made of this love will enable us to be more playful, more joyful, more loving and wise, as we make our way.

    This world makes it easy to forget this great love, which is part of why we are here. We are here to remember and, when we forget to remember again, to choose love.

  12. Kim says:

    I feel so lost and your words felt like my own, thank you for confirming what I am feeling…it helped me greatly tonight. I woke Saturday morning to go to Arlington Cemetery to assist with the wreath laying for each grave marker. I left early to take metro and was crying thinking of these parents waking up to empty beds. The volunteer work helped and I felt good for what we did but I still ache when I look into these children’s eyes. Our world is. It suppose to be like this…

  13. KATHYSUE says:

    I understand how you feel completely and you are not alone in this feeling.Since none of us have seen anything like this we don’t even know how to process it. Each of us will process it in our own way.
    I have struggled this weekend to be happy inside about the upcoming holidays, feeling twinges of guilt. Then, I stopped to realize something…… Now more than ever we should be cherishing our special moments with the people we love. I am sure each parent that has lost their sweet little angel would be telling us to hold onto the special moments. I have chosen to honor them with just that….. I am going to hold onto my family and special friends like I have never before. I am going to enjoy my time with them and cherish and enjoy them.
    Bless you sweet Seleta and your beautiful family,
    Merrry Christmas,

  14. Leigh B. says:

    Thank you for mentioning violent video games. We moms need to ban together to tell the creators of these games that we are not going to condone them any more. Thankfully our 2 oldest children are girls and are NOT interested in video games in the least, but boys have a much harder time saying no to them. Our son is 7, and I am making a promise to him as I type this that my husband and I will never, ever purchase one of these violent games. The images in these games and the “reality” of them warp young minds.

  15. Emily Clark says:

    I feel the same. I am just having a terrible time with this. Praying for us all.

  16. Beautiful post Seleta. You articulated our thoughts exactly. Tears.

  17. Zoe B says:

    Very thoughtful post and heartfelt comments . I am viewing this from the UK and have read many posts from the USA about this tragic event but am puzzled why no one comments on the fact that this young man with obvious mental health issues was able to get hold of guns and a large amount of ammunition without question. Is this subject so taboo in the USA that people are afraid to comment or is it that guns are such a big part of peoples lives that nobody even bats an eyelid that so many unsuitable people are armed? You may feel that I am niave in my opinions being an ‘outsider’ but am I wrong to be shocked that in some States people need to be so heavily armed? I can t ever imagine members of the American public completely giving up their right to bear arms but surely its time for more rigorous procedures to buy one?

  18. MorningT says:

    I too felt like the world should have just STOPPED right after this happened. Such an overwhelming feeling of stop the madness. Well you put your thoughts into words beautifully here Seleta, which is definitely not a strength of mine.

    Wishing you and your sweet family a joyous and Merry Christmas!

  19. Kim says:

    Appreciated your thoughts and this post. After reading all the comments I am also wondering why no one has said anything about having less guns and restricting automatic weapons that are made for wars.. Praying is healing, but all the prayers won’t help until we open our eyes and take some real measures against guns in this country. Many countries have done this and have great results. We can’t keep living like guns aren’t the problem.

    Wishing your family blessings this holiday. I love your inspiring blog.


  20. Karen says:

    Seleta, I’m responding a bit late to this post, but my heart still aches terribly for these innocent children and their parents who are devastated by their loss. Every word you wrote resonates with me, as I’m sure it does with so many others. Thank you for sharing your heart…

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    SeletaI‘m Seleta, a city girl living the beach life with my family. A former TV personality turned designer, I love to share the sparkly side of life. Read more here.
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