puddle hopper

I woke up this morning with a thought about a certain obstacle that can slow us down in the walk of life…a puddle called comparison.  In this world of material-seeking perfection, comparison can be an easy stumbling block to happiness.  But I’m here to tell you it can be overcome with grace and style.


As a mom of a big family and daily survivor of this crazy economy, I can tell you that it’s a fine line to walk to stay focused on goals without falling face first in some puddles.  I always preach to my kids “be grateful for what you have and don’t compare yourself to others” when they complain that so-and-so has this or that.  Of course we all want our children to grow up secure, confident, and content with their blessings.

But what about us?

Between pinterest, magazines, blogs, TV, and all the other media we have in our faces, we are bombarded daily with the expectation and yearning to have the BEST.  Think about it – how many times a week do you compare yourself to someone else and feel like you’re not doing something right?  Maybe it’s the best job we’re after, the perfectly designed house (ahem), the right clothes, the right car, the right number of children, the perfect amount of travel.  Or maybe you look at yourself in the mirror and wish that one particular feature on your face or body was slightly different – because then you would be happy with the way you looked.

Don’t get me wrong, I love pretty things, and certainly enjoy setting goals, but it gets to be a dangerous game when comparison creeps into the picture.  It can be so easy to start assigning deadlines on yourself such as, “I should have _______ by now.”  Or another thought:  “What is wrong with me, I’m sitting here doing ______ while so-and-so is off doing ________.”

You can drive yourself into the ground and end up feeling like you simply don’t have enough…or you’re not good enough…or that your personal timeline is faulty because you don’t have x,y, or z by a certain age in your life.  The puddle can get so deep that you don’t even know how to get yourself out.

How to correct these thoughts and feel empowered in your life: 

1.  First, get your head on straight.  This is an important step in regrouping your thoughts.  Do this breathing exercise for a solid 60 seconds:  inhale as much as you can through your nose and hold that breath for 10 seconds – then push out all the air slowly with your mouth until there is literally nothing left in your lungs – it will feel strange.  Do this exercise for one whole minute.  May sound silly, but this is an excellent tool to regroup whenever you’re in a situation where you feel anxious.  Consistent deep breaths re-oxygenate your brain, which in turn calms you down so you can think clearly.

2.  Stop and list three fabulous things in your life.  Believe me, they are there.  It doesn’t matter how simple these things are – you might have to start small.  The idea is to recognize what gifts surround you.  I guarantee you’ll list at least 10 once you make it to number three.

3.  Repeat, think, and write:  “I am surrounded with favor.  I am exactly where I am supposed to be.  I am blessed.”  If you truly own these thoughts, I promise that you will feel different.  You might have to repeat this multiple times a day, and that’s totally okay.

4.  Do one nice thing for someone else.  It can be anything – bringing a co-worker their favorite drink with to work one day with a paper umbrella and ribbon tied around it for laughs, mailing a random note to a faraway friend or relative telling them they’re loved, surprising your kids with colorful balloons floating above the dinner table in the middle of the week.  Anything.  The purpose is to share goodness and love with another – it is healing on so many levels.

.    .    .    .

It’s funny, I wasn’t sure if this was a post I should share…I starting thinking about it over the madness of packing kid lunches.  Then after the kids were out the door…the thought remained with me one sip of coffee after another.  Still debating, I opened up my daily devotional for today’s thought, and the answer hit me right in between the eyes with the last sentence.  Ba-bammmm.

“I can read the emptiness of your thoughts when they wander away from Me.  I offer you rest for your soul, as well as refreshment for your mind and body.  If you feel any deficiency, you need to refocus your attention on Me.  This is how you trust Me in the moments of your life.”

Oh ya.  The trust thing.  Cold busted.

Since I am the worst bible-reader ever, I love this little devotional because it is an easy, quick read and has a surprise message every day.  It’s really saved me from myself a few times.  It was a gift from my beautiful friend, Leslie, who has read her own copy for years.  I’ll be honest, at first the title kind of freaked me out because it sounded extreme – like I should be walking around in a skirt covering my ankles and in a constant state of prayer.  Not me (sorry God).  But it offers a very gentle and comforting message day after day.  If you’re not a big reader, I think they have it as a download on itunes over here.

Cheers to recognizing our blessings and knowing that we are ALL in our right place.

Screen shot 2013-08-19 at 9.12.45 AM

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  1. pve says:

    sparkle on seleta,

  2. Bruce Barone says:

    simply beautiful

  3. Stacey Besse says:

    Thanks for sharing this! I know I appreciated it :) Also wanted to share they have a sweet children’s daily devotions version of the book!

  4. Lori H says:

    Good reminders, Seleta! I read the same devotional book, and I feel like it speaks directly to me most days.

  5. Janet Murphy says:

    We should be judged by what we do for others.

  6. Monica T. says:

    Thanks so much Seleta! This could not have come at a more perfect time. I chalked a couple of fabulous things on the board today at our home and saw a smile and change in attitude in my children’s faces. My heart was sooo full of happiness. ~Monica

  7. Penelope says:

    Thank you for the beautiful inspiration! Your perspective is so important in so many ways.

  8. Leigh Ann says:

    I really enjoyed this post. So often we feel the “grass is greener” in another yard never fully realizing the price someone is paying for a certain appearance, or how green ours actually is.

  9. Seleta says:

    This is so true, Janet. And Leigh Ann, you couldn’t be more correct : )


  10. Paula says:

    Thank you for the reminder to make every moment count in a meaningful way. “Take no thought for tomorrow…” This very moment is precious.

  11. Seleta says:

    Oh and thanks for the tip, Stacey! I need to grab some copies for the kiddos.

    Way to go, Monica!!


  12. Suzie says:

    Seleta I love your post. I have always believed that counting our blessings makes us ready to recieve more. It certainly enlarges our hearts!

  13. Marcia says:

    Great post…we all struggle with thankfulness. Counting our blessings is a way to joy!

  14. Carolyn says:

    So true. It needs to be said/spoken about in blogworld every now and then.

  15. Deena says:


  16. KATHYSUE says:

    Seleta, I wrote a post on REST yesterday and it ties in nicely with your post. I love the saying, Comparison is the Biggest Killer of Joy. How much is enough, anyhow. I think as much as you have that day is exactly what you are suppose to have right then and there. I always love when you share your heart with us,

  17. Well said. Great reminder.

  18. Annette says:

    Perfectly said! When I need to reconnect and ground myself, I like to go to morning mass after I drop off my son for school. It’s a beautiful way to start the day & remember what it truly important.

  19. kayce ughes says:

    So glad you posted! Sounds like the same words I say to myself on a daily basis.

  20. Ginger says:

    Thanks for a thoughtful post. I love when “ba-bammm” happens like that. It reminds me that there is Someone trying to make my life easier, happier.

  21. Dana says:

    Such an inspiring post, words we could all be reminded of! Thank you for sharing your thoughts and wisdom so openly with us!

  22. Jen says:

    Great words of inspiration. It is amazing how freeing letting go of the comparison monster is as it robs us of so much. I find myself in each breath now being thankful for a multitude of crazy things. Also, hope you received the gift certificate I left at Jade Nails. All the Best!

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    SeletaI‘m Seleta, a city girl living the beach life with my family. A former TV personality turned designer, I love to share the sparkly side of life. Read more here.
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