life 101

The way I feel most mornings.  Minus the fun of being on a horse.

racing against the clock

By 6:30am today, I was in a race against the clock.  A pervasive theme in the life of a parent.  Shuffling my kiddos into the car, lunch boxes and backpacks in tow, we spun off to the carpool line only minutes before the dreaded tardy bell.  A few lights and some frantic gulps of coffee later, we finally made it to the row of 20 cars coiled from the sleepy school road to the drop off area.  Little voices chattering in the back morphed into whines…which seconds later became shrills of bickering about nothing.  Suddenly my car sounded like a bag of cats being strangled.  I hesitated to react.  One deep breath.  Two deep breaths.  The best words I could produce with only half a cup of coffee in my system were, “stop it right now!!”  Hmmm, no good.  Couldn’t I be more original?  More inspiring?  It was too late.  The angst had taken over.  In an attempt to calm the storms, I blurted “somebody share a God thought.”  Now this was hilarious.  A knee jerk demand of spiritual inspiration to fighting kids.  Nice.  After hearing myself say the words with force and tension, I laughed to myself and thought, “what a way to inspire to your children.”

My 7-year-old thought for a second, then replied, “there is no spot where God is not.”   My 9 year-old shrieked, “you always say that, stop saying that!!  You don’t know anything.”  Ugh.  Where was I to go with this?  Since we were sitting in a stopped car, I quickly googled on my phone “God thought Nov 6 2013.”   I felt like googling “emergency quick-fixes for parent sanity.”  Taking yet one more deep breath, I calmly read a few comforting words from the God thought I found online.  And for the next few minutes, we  had peace in the car before saying our goodbyes for the day.

The message was interesting “DO NOT JUDGE.”  Ha ha.  Kind of a zinger to my battling brood.  Oh, and to me.  Busted.  Thought I’d share:

“When we find ourselves judging others, it is usually in the words we say or think.  We judge them based on what they wear or how they look.  We judge them on what they do or don’t do.  We judge their opinions, their political or religious beliefs.  We are full of judgement.  God tells us not to judge or criticize each other.”

Luke 6:37  is a good scripture

I love this thought.  Not always easy to apply, but good stuff.

I recently read that the best way to experience peace and happiness, is to disengage the ego, which basically has three needs:  to control, to seek approval, and to judge.

Imagine the world we lived in if we didn’t try to control, seek approval, or judge.  My new challenge is to recognize those three triggers:  control, approval, and judgement.  I’ve been trying really hard, it takes work!  And it’s very interesting when you can identify those three triggers.  The good news is life is so much easier when you eliminate those three things.  I think it takes dedication and conscious thought, but the peace that comes with it is so rewarding.  It certainly isn’t easy, it’s even a challenge for children!

One step at a time.  One moment at a time.

Cheers to a day filled with peace , happiness, and no judgement : )

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  1. Cammy says:

    This inspired me Seleta.

  2. pve says:

    How many times have each of us been right in the thick of a moment just like that and feel trapped with no way out and not a sight of any sort of christianity in view……but then bingo – you really crack me up with your verbosity and insight. Amen Seleta.

  3. Marcia says:

    What a great post. You made me laugh…”somebody share a God thought”…and nudged me to tamp down the ego’s need to control, seek approval, and judge. Thank you.

  4. Cheryl Fortunato says:

    Thanks for the inspiration. A goal, and definitely a work in progress!

  5. april says:

    LOVE this. I’ve made an effort to not spend time reading blogs the past few months for various reasons but I keep coming back to yours and this post is exactly why. Thank you for helping, teaching, and giving me something to aspire to now and in the future when I hopefully have my own car full of kids :-)

  6. Claire says:

    What an inspiration! Thank you for sharing (and not pretending that life is always perfect). It’s as if you were at OUR house and in MY car yesterday morning… In my head, I know I need to not judge, not seek approval, not control, and I would add, not compare, but it’s SO hard sometimes.

  7. Deb says:

    I love this – thanks for giving me some inspiration today!

  8. Lizziefitz says:

    Amen! My go to is usually,” stop it right now” too;o

  9. Janice says:

    Great post thank you… Just what I needed to hear!

  10. Turner says:

    This hit home. Good read. Thanks.

  11. suzanne c. says:

    I love this post! And I agree with you on the ego. How do I know when my ego is in play? Anything that triggers a strong emotion! And when that emotion is fast at work, I simply stop and say,” hi, I know you!” At that point I decide where to go from there. Usually my reaction is to wrap love and compassion, visually, around the situation. It changes the situation every time! There’s a great book called the “Side Effect.” It’s the little things we do each day that add up to a lifetime of success! Enjoy!

  12. suzanne c. says:

    Sorry Seleta, the book is the “Slight Edge.” No coffee yet!

  13. sarah says:

    I’m going to re-read this a few times in the next couple of weeks. I have a big meeting at my church with four staff members coming up, and THIS is going to be an issue for all of us….disengaging our egos. It’s so easy to think that you have all the answers and only you can do it right, but that’s not true. Thanks for the reminder that control and approval and judgement are not mine to have.
    Wow…..I am overwhelmed with thoughts about all of this.
    Thanks for sharing your heart. It means a lot to all the other mommies out here.

  14. Mrs. Dunbar says:

    What a wonderful thought! Thank you for sharing your reality, it helps all of us moms.

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    SeletaI‘m Seleta, a city girl living the beach life with my family. A former TV personality turned designer, I love to share the sparkly side of life. Read more here.
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